#58 Become a Learner

One of the most valuable things you can do for your children's education is to become a learner yourself, even if it means spending a little less time directly educating your children. This will offer many benefits to you and your family:

Your children will learn from what you learn - even in the casual format of dinner table conversations about what you're learning.

You'll show them how much you value education and help them see that it's not just something for school age kids.

It will help you become more enthusiastic about learning in general and their learning in particular. Enthusiasm is contagious! And they will enjoy learning more if they do it with you.

It helps to build a learning environment. For example, if you're reading instead of watching the news or listening to the radio, your house will be quieter and more inviting for others to study in.

The Catechism says: "One is entitled to think that the future of humanity is in the hands of those who are capable of providing the generations to come with reasons for life and optimism." (1917)

The Delight of Simplicity (#41)

One night, my six year old daughter was playing with a wooden tower toy that had a ramp for little cars to roll down. Though she couldn’t find the cars, she did find a handful of dice and discovered that they slid down the ramp in a satisfying way.

Trouble soon came in the form of her four year old brother, who wanted to play too. They were soon squabbling quite loudly over who had how many dice and who took whose dice from whom. The chaos was rather aggravating and I promptly took away all of the dice except one for each of them and braced myself for the protests that were sure to follow.

But they never came. The change was like a light switch – all they really needed was just one each and the room was suddenly filled with giggles and squeals of delight as they took turns with the toy.

Not all of our family squabbles end so easily, but it was a great illustration for me of the beauty and delight of simplicity.

It's About the Family... (#21)

Success in homeschooling is intimately tied with a healthy family culture. This doesn't require financial success or parents who are highly educated. Success is truly in reach of everyone. It doesn't require perfection and when we despair over our imperfections we close the path to God. Instead, keep striving for the good even when you make mistakes. The grace of God is essential here!

Here are a few suggestions for parents and families:

Cultivate and model good attitudes, virtues, joy, diligence and enthusiasm.

Learn, pray, work and play together each day.

Help each other discover and develop each other's gifts and talents.

Avoid extremes.

Keep your priorities straight.

Work through challenges and problems together.

Keep on trying and loving even when you make mistakes.

Diversity of the Saints (#17)

One of the most beautiful and encouraging sources of reading for me as a mother has been the lives of the saints. Not only do the saints inspire me and show me how God works through people in every age of history, but they help me understand my children better. In the saints we find great diversity of background, personality and accomplishments. My child might drive me crazy at times, but St. Augustine and St. Maximilian Kolbe drove their mothers crazy too! A good reason to hope! Some saints were great scholars, like St. Dominic de Guzman and St. Ignatius of Loyola. Others lived simply to love God and others, and through God accomplished great things, such as St. Therese of Lisieux and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. When we love our children and teach them what is good - even at great sacrifice to ourselves (and parenting does require sacrifice!) we help prepare them to follow the great and unique plans that God has in mind for them.

An Environment of Love and Learning (#12)

Education isn't just about what children know; perhaps more importantly, it's about what they love. Successful home education relies on a healthy family life where love of goodness and truth is modeled and cultivated.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church offers a beautiful explanation of this concept: "Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well-suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of true freedom... Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them."

Further Information:

The above quote is from The Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2223

Pope Benedict XVI has recently written on the subject of beauty in education.

The Myth of Perfection (#9)

Insecurities stemming from the plague of perfectionism run rampant in modern society and homeschool parents tend to be hit particularly hard. They are trying to juggle so any things and life is a struggle, so when they hear something positive about another homeschool family, they can easily spin it into an idealistic image of perfection that is impossible to attain. The reality is that everyone struggles. Experienced homeschool families learn to accept that they can't "do it all." They know they can't control everything and willingly place their trust in God. They pray for patience and serenity and develop priorities and enough balance to bring a sense of peace.

Efficiency is a good thing in cars and for washing dishes and getting through a grocery shopping trip. There's no such thing as efficiently raising children. They require plenty of affection, patience and a lot of time.

Reading Aloud to Your Children (#4)

Reading aloud to your children is one of the very best things you can do for them - especially after they already know how to read for themselves. Reading is quality time spent together; it fosters conversation and interest in learning. It can draw parents away from night-time television and internet habits and add to their own education as well.

Studies show that reading aloud to children motivates them to read on their own and significantly improves their vocabulary and comprehension. Choose from a variety of book types: classics, fairy tales, saint stories, poetry, humorous family stories, fantasy and historical fiction. Negotiating read-alouds with younger siblings can be a major challenge. Try starting with a favorite picture book for the younger crowd and follow it up with a few chapters from a full-length story Even a short amount of time - perhaps 20 minutes a day - can be an invaluable part of your child's education.

Further Information:

Negotiating Read-Alouds
A Study on the Value of Read-Alouds

Me do! Me do! (#2)

It can drive parents crazy when their young children constantly beg to do things for themselves. "Me do! Me do!" is their constant cry. While giving in to temper tantrums over such an issue is not recommended, allowing children to do these things and more for themselves is. Giving children a reasonable amount of responsibility builds confidence, competency and their sense of self-worth. In the long run, at least, it makes a parent's job easier as well.

Maria Montessori explains this concept beautifully: "To teach a child to feed himself, to wash and dress himself, is a much more tedious and difficult work, calling for infinitely greater patience than feeding, washing and dressing the child one's self. The former is the work of an educator, the latter is the easy and inferior work of a servant. Not only is it easier for the mother, but it is very dangerous for the child, since it closes the way and puts obstacles in the path of the life which is developing."

Further Information:

This concept of not taking initiative away from the child is related to the Church's "Principle of Subsidiarity". You can read more about that here.